Full of surprises good and bad, hard times, family, friends, good, evil, joy, and sorrow.  It is just like a big roller coaster but sometimes not as exhilarating.  And you may even feel like me somedays, for me that day would be today as I sit in Starbucks Cafe trying to study but my mind cluttered with life. Just one of those days that It all just gets too much and you had a good cry last night and are now just kinda bitter at the whole world asking God where He is in all of this chaos.  

I think I had an epiphany, I suppress everything until it all punches me in the face like a big wake up call. I know what you are thinking, that sound really unhealthy…well, I a human so I am working on it.  I find myself in a place I never thought I would be, isn’t life funny like that? It seems one day everything is all peachy and then the next day its all a mess.  The family is in a rut, when will they ever get out of it?  School in a rut, when will I ever get out of it? You try to be a good person and remember all the good things you have but somedays it just doesn’t work, nothing really seems to and so you go on with life hoping this great fog will lift off of you and you can feel free again.

For me, that fog lifts off of me when I do the opposite of what I feel.  I find my feelings can be my greatest enemy and lately have been that.  The state I was in last night I would have loved to stay in the house all day and all week but I got out cause I knew despite what I felt I needed a change of scenery and be around people not be isolated.  Isolation sucks, by the way, don’t do it.  When I have a rush of negative emotions through my head I am learning to grab some of my favorite verses and speak to myself through out the day to combat that negative mindset that can be oh so destructive.

I find the difference between an ordinary person and an extraordinary person is grit, endurance, refusing to give up despite what we feel and what our circumstances are.  Allowing ourselves to be changed into better people in the really difficult times in life, learning from tough constructive criticism and cutting out people who don’t deserve you.  Depending more on God than people but always loving people and being gracious to them as He always is to us.  Intimacy with God every day through adoration and prayer.  So even though I know the truth in my heart doesn’t mean every day I can be all hunky dory, I am human and somedays I won’t be the greatest person to be around but don’t  ever give up hope, knowing God is faithful through the rut of life.