Uneasily Content

Do you ever feel trapped by your own life? Ever feel like just running away from it all, just calling it quits, giving up? I definitely have those moments. Moments when everything is confusing and I feel like I am doing all I can but it is just not cutting it. 

 Nothing is really going right, relationships, plans for the future, money is tight etc etc.  I could go on forever. I find myself in this position often, forgetting what I forget often.  I wish I didn’t.  I don’t know about you but I tend to get very prideful and bitter very quickly when I don’t have Jesus keeping me in check, I guess its in my blood you can say or my human nature.  I don’t want to deal with the bitterness in my heart because I am to prideful to do so, I say to myself I will be fine, I can handle it, I don’t need to reflect and forgive it will take too much energy and time.  So I put a bandaid on such a gaping wound, I become uneasily content.  Then slowly in my heart pride grows larger and larger and my attitude towards those around me gets uglier and uglier.

  But when it comes to a point when it all piles up to be too much and circumstances strip my pride down little by little, then my eyes are opened to the fact that I can’t handle everything in this crazy chaotic life on my own.  I am not superwoman nor will I ever be, I will always need His strength to sustain me.

 So I have decided to lay aside my pride and bitterness and to be humble like He was on the cross.  In 1 Peter it says “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”  

If Jesus humbled himself, the perfect sacrifice..surely I can with my life.  He gives me the power and strength to have peace when others offend me, to love others when I should hate them.  It takes humility to forgive and humility can be hard but it can also be so freeing. 

He enables me to do what my flesh is weak to do.  He helps me live a fulfilling life, a life far better than ruled by bitterness and anger.  But living in freedom, humility and love.  Meditate on verses whenever you feel that ugly feeling of bitterness and anger in your heart, it has change my life and it will change yours.

Bible Verses that help me

• “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:14-21).
• “When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly" (I Peter 2:23)
  
• “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me”(Psalm 51:10 )
  
• “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” (James 1:19-20)